Honoring Nana: A Heartfelt Journey Through Grief and Celebration

There are around 2.4 million funerals a year. I had no idea people liked to die that much. Haha. (Poor taste in joke? My apologies.)

Our Journey

When our grandma passed, we knew it was coming. Paige knew even more than I did, and our mother knew even more than both of us. Paige and my mom were the main in-person primary caretakers. Her nurse knew it was coming too. Living out of state, I wasn't seeing everything firsthand, but I knew that once we started the morphine, it was only a matter of time. Within 24 hours, she passed.

Nana had talked with Paige and me about her wishes, and we had already held a beautiful goodbye party with more family coming from out of town. I am so grateful we had the chance to do that. I will treasure that time forever. Having that celebration made it easier for us as a family to honor her life.

Nana died a little after 1 a.m. on October 19, 2024. It was incredibly important to me to stay up that night. I cooked dinner around 11 p.m. and talked to my grandma and the universe around 12:30, telling her to go when she was ready and how much I loved her. The family received a text from my uncle in our group chat saying she had passed, and the timing felt so aligned that I couldn't doubt that the universe and Nana heard me and listened.

We drove up later that morning after some sleep to my grandparents' house. Everyone either made one of her dishes or her favorite drinks. Before we ate, we shared stories about Nana—from my dad and uncle reminiscing about growing up with her, to my mom talking about women and Tupperware, to me sharing what I've learned about our Czech heritage. We had a bonfire and wrote letters to Nana, which we burned so she would receive them too. That night was amazing, and I am so proud of my family for how we came together to mourn and celebrate my grandmother’s life.

Wisdom from the Journey: Lessons You Can Use

Know what the person wants. Nana didn’t want a funeral. When my granddad passes, we plan to spread their ashes together.

Give yourself permission to cry. I cried while driving to my grandparents' house, upon walking in, and throughout the night. Crying with my family was comforting in ways I didn’t expect, and no one shamed anyone for it.

It’s okay if you don’t have plans. We came up with our idea the morning of Nana’s passing, and it was perfect just as it was.

Pro Tips from Our Journey

If your loved one has specific wishes, write them down. You don’t want to struggle to remember during such an emotional time.

Be vulnerable. Let others know how sad you are. Some people need to see grief modeled in a healthy way. If you can provide this for your family, it can become a cherished memory.

Worry about calling others later. Don’t pressure yourself unless your loved one specifically asked you to. If they did, make sure you have a list of people they wanted to be informed.

I hope this helps you as your loved one transitions to the other side. Death is hard. The transition to life without them is scary but can also be a peaceful experience, as they now find rest. I hope your grief allows you to grow and your family to find peace. Feel free to share any questions on how you can help your family celebrate their grief.