Caregiving & Coping: How to Balance Caregiving & Relationships

Balancing relationships while being a caregiver is like trying to juggle flaming torches while riding a unicycle—except the torches are your responsibilities, and the unicycle is your sanity. It’s one of the toughest challenges many of us face, requiring constant navigation of emotions, responsibilities, and the delicate art of prioritizing the people who matter most—including yourself.

Our Journey:

My partner and I recently participated in a study on the impact caregiving has on romantic relationships. We completed separate interviews and were instructed not to discuss them afterward. Reflecting on the complexities of caring for Nana, moving to a new city, managing a demanding new job, continuing my doctoral program, and maintaining a healthy relationship—it was overwhelming. During the interview, there were moments when the weight of it all brought me to tears. Despite being surrounded by family who pitched in, I often felt completely alone.

Wisdom from the Journey: Lessons You Can Use

• Go to therapy.
  Seriously. Find a therapist who can help you process your emotions, provide practical guidance for managing stress, and teach coping skills that work for you.

• Prioritize Sleep.
  Sleep is essential for your brain and heart to reset. Allow yourself the rest you need—it’s not just okay; it’s necessary.

• Let your partner love you.
  It might feel impossible or wrong to accept their love when you’re stretched so thin, but it’s crucial. Allowing yourself to be loved enables you to continue loving the person you’re caring for. Take it a step further and love yourself too, showing yourself some grace.

Pro Tips from Our Journey:

• Set boundaries for your caregiving time.
  It’s tough, but be honest with yourself, your partner, and your family. Decide upfront how much time you can realistically give to caregiving, understanding that these boundaries may evolve. For me, the second weekend of every month is non-negotiable. That’s when I attend my doctoral courses, and I refuse to let anything interfere.

• Seek help from those who offer it willingly.
  One of my biggest regrets was relying on family members who gave excuses or tried to control the situation. It drained my energy and distracted me from what mattered most. If someone doesn’t genuinely want to help, it’s okay to let them opt out. Their decisions are theirs to live with.

• Stay open to your partner.
  Let them be there for you. Whether it’s holding you while you cry, sitting with you on the phone, or driving hours to support you—accept their love. Shutting them out will only add to your burden, while letting them in strengthens your bond.

I hope these insights help you navigate your relationships while caregiving. Coming soon will be a resource to help you and your partner divide responsibilities, balance time, and communicate with others about caregiving needs. Together, you can create a plan that works for everyone, ensuring that love and connection remain at the center of your journey.